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Ask Amy: Guest is baffled by the need to shower

Amy Dickinson, Tribune Content Agency on

Dear Amy: How should I react to some of the baffling requests for gifts and money when invited to wedding showers, weddings, and baby showers?

I just received an invitation for my niece's baby shower (my sister is her mom).

Request number one was for a book instead of a card. OK, fine, but she is asking people to give this, along with a gift.

She then offered for guests to enter in a raffle if they would bring a package of diapers. This is in addition to the gift and the book.

She then said not to wrap the gift, and to have the gift sent directly to their home, so she could visit with her guests instead of opening these gifts in front of them (not, of course, because opening gifts and acknowledging the people giving them is tedious or schlepping the gifts home is annoying.)

At a baby shower for a friend’s daughter, I felt I’d broken the rules when I gave a gift that was not on the registry. This was in addition to giving a wedding shower gift and a wedding gift to someone I barely know.

 

Am I just overly sensitive because I got married at the courthouse and don’t have kids?

Can I decline some of these events and send a not-so-extravagant gift?

Do I have to suck it up, even though I think this trend continues to bring out money grubbing expectations that have very little to do with connecting with others?

– Petty?

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