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Ask Amy: Married couple ponders ‘opening’ their union

Amy Dickinson, Tribune Content Agency on

– Shocked

Dear Shocked: Your reaction to this insult seems to blame your sister – presumably for tolerating her husband’s long-standing hatred and disrespect of your family.

Your sister is not responsible for her husband’s atrocious behavior. But it seems as if he has pulled the pin on a grenade and tossed it into the middle of your family.

You might look on this weird episode of brutal honesty as a liberation of sorts. You are under no obligation to spend time with him, interact with him, or worry about his estimation of you. Declining to spend time with him will relieve him of any obligation or expectation to be in the presence of people he hates.

In this context, “turning the other cheek” might translate into accepting that your sister has chosen to be with him and seems to be staying with him.

Perhaps you could adopt a loving and understanding attitude toward her. Her situation does not sound easy.

 

Dear Amy: I hope you'll rethink your answer to “Devastated Husband,” because it's not only wrong – it's dangerous.

Five years ago, I asked my husband to consider an open marriage. We had married young and had had few experiences. I had no specific person in mind. My husband agreed to try it.

We were open for two years before we decided it wasn't for us. When he asked that we return to monogamy, I readily agreed.

A spouse who asks for an open marriage is trying to do the right thing by being open and honest.

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