Ask Amy: Wife isn’t proving to be a good roommate
Am I kidding myself?
– Devoted Husband
Dear Devoted: You have described a relationship devoid of kindness, caring, meaningful communication, or any kind of emotional or physical intimacy.
The relationship I share with my regular server at the Dunkin’ Donuts drive-thru seems more deep, rich, and satisfying than your long marriage (hi, Kaytlin!).
You describe this emotionally empty marriage, and yet you’ve fixed on the lack of sex as the only missing ingredient. But, from your description, everything is missing.
Your marriage does seem over, but if you love your wife, your home, and the life you two share, you should hang in there with your unemotional and unsupportive roommate, and perhaps pursue occasional sex elsewhere.
Given that she doesn’t seem to care and that she “doesn’t see anything changing,” I doubt your wife would oppose this plan.
I hope you will stick with therapy. A therapist will not tell you what to do, but this would be a safe space for you to discuss your options and your feelings about your options.
Dear Amy: My husband and I have two children. Our oldest, “Ava,” will be 12 in the fall.
My kids are very close with my parents and, given that we live in the same town, my folks have been very involved in their lives. We love them and feel lucky to have relatively youthful and fun grandparents for our kids – and for us.
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