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Ask Amy: Marriage to a problem drinker has disintegrated

Amy Dickinson, Tribune Content Agency on

Dear Amy: I married my high school sweetheart. We’ve been together for 50 years.

We had a great sexual relationship until five years ago.

My husband has a serious drinking problem which I have tolerated for decades. He has called me nasty and vulgar names, and now does nothing but watch TV and drink. When my father died last year, he didn’t offer an ounce of compassion – instead he made a cruel remark that still hurts so much.

We are both retired now, and I found out that I have an illness. I would like to travel while I am able, but he has no desire to go anywhere.

His drinking has caused the loss of friends and family and I’m tired of making excuses for him.

I believe that I deserve to be happy at the end of my own life.

 

I’d rather finish my time on earth happy and single than miserably married!

I asked him to go to counseling and he claims he doesn’t need it, so I went to marriage counseling alone. I am still going – and it helps me tremendously!

Should I divorce and finish my life doing what I enjoy? Or should I follow the advice of a few friends who have said, why bother leaving him after so many years?

I want to say that it’s called “happiness,” but I feel like I am wrong justifying my feelings.

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