Ask Amy: Stylist doesn’t want to cut customer
Recently, she tried again to drag me in, and I repeated that I still support HER need, but I've moved on and don't want to hear it.
She became very angry and said this isn't what she had envisioned when I said I'd support her.
I'm afraid this may affect us for years to come.
How can I set clear boundaries and protect my own emotions while remaining empathetic, and heal our relationship?
– Tired and Defeated
Dear Tired: You have already set clear boundaries. This is a good choice for you, but it doesn’t mean that your sister will like your limits.
Your sister seems to want help, agreement, assent. But if you can’t offer these things (or don’t want to offer them), you can only repeat another version, gently stating, “I’m not judging you. I support your right to do whatever you want to do. I’m sorry that I’m not giving you all that you want, but I want to have a good sisterly relationship. I will always support you emotionally, and I always have your back, but I can’t help you with this.”
Emotionally supporting someone does not mean that you need to sign off on all of their choices.
Dear Amy: Regarding the “Peeved Partner,” who was upset about her partner developing a relationship with his newest sex partner, you missed one piece of advice in your response: Both of them should be regularly checked for any signs of STDs immediately.
Their somewhat reckless sexual activity would seem to leave them and their random sex partners at risk.
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