Ask Amy: Like Garbo, she just wants to be alone
Any advice on how I might broach this with those I love and those who love and need me?
I’d like a script to explain that it’s not them, it’s me!
– Modern-day Greta Garbo
Dear Greta: Every year for the past 15 years, I have spent one month alone – isolated and away from family and friends – and so I well understand this distinct drive.
Women of our generation tend to be the “kinship” keepers, and once the chickens leave the roost, the desire to take stock and perhaps not see to anyone else’s needs for a while can be very strong.
But you don’t have to ask permission of your children or other family members to be alone. They are all adults and they are going to have to come to terms with what might seem like a quirk to them, but which is a real need for you.
So, no script is necessary. You’re trying something new (and – if your folks are healthy and toddling along – the time is right for you to do this).
Did you take it personally or feel hurt when your children left home? You didn’t, and they shouldn’t, either.
You and your partner could work this out in any number of creative ways. You might rent a place nearby where you trade off living in the house for two weeks at a time, perhaps spending an occasional night together.
Dear Amy: I’m a 35-year-old man. My wife and I got married in our 20’s, and immediately plunged into being “parents” to her niece, who moved in with us just before her 10 th birthday. We raised her exclusively and in my opinion did a really good job.
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