Life Advice



Ask Amy: Reader provides ‘update’ on abusive relationship

Amy Dickinson, Tribune Content Agency on

Dear Readers: Periodically, I ask for “Updates” regarding questions which have been published in this space. I am naturally curious about how things might have turned out for people who have received my advice.

This column is devoted to a Q&A that was originally published in 2021.

You can read the original question, followed by my answer. The update follows that.

Dear Amy: My boyfriend of almost three years is very childish. If I do something he does not like, he will try to get me back or even the score in some way.

For instance, I do not want to do a particular act in the bedroom. It makes me super-uncomfortable. No matter how many times I explain this, he says it's his favorite thing and if I don't do it, then it's a deal-breaker. So sometimes I suffer through it, but other times I flat-out refuse.

Well, the other day, I refused.


Now he won't kiss me. He says that since I won't do that for him, kissing is off the table until I do it.

How is that fair?

How can we navigate through this without calling it quits?

I want to make him happy, but I also don't want to do what he's asking me to do.


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