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Ask Amy: In-laws’ unkindness leaves family divided

Amy Dickinson, Tribune Content Agency on

Dear Amy: My in-laws told me in a rather unkind way that they did not like me.

It's been a year since this happened, and I see that my husband is sad, that he misses his family, and that he is just so disappointed.

Truthfully, his folks never liked me, and I could tell, and so a part of me was relieved by this revelation because it meant that I could stop all the phone calls to chat, sending the birthday gifts and cards (I did this because their son did not).

Now I notice that my husband is blue. I think he wants an apology message from his folks. His mom occasionally texts him very passive-aggressive messages like, “I know you probably don’t care but …” or, “I think these messages are not making it to my grandchildren because your wife is deleting them…” (I am absolutely not deleting anything or preventing any contact between them).

I do not know how to help.

I do not want him to carry a grudge on my behalf.

 

I also want my kids to have grandparents.

I do not know what to say to my husband. He does see a therapist and is very angry at them for causing a rift, especially since they live 10 hours away and we see them normally once or twice a year (and usually stay at his brother’s or at a hotel).

In any case – what should I say to him?

Should I say anything to him?

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