ArcaMax

Dear Worried: You should not need my help to inspire you to take care of your own health, but when it comes to extended family members, it is vital to clarify your needs and boundaries, because their understanding and cooperation are essential.

It might help if you approached this problem understanding that parents with many children often deal with illness as a more or less continuous issue. One or more family members is either getting sick, currently sick, or recovering from their latest round of cold/flu.

However, the experience of the pandemic should have sensitized all of us to the important needs of people whose health is compromised (like you), or who would simply like to avoid illness (everyone else) – especially during the winter months.

So yes, you should tell these family members, “This year, please make sure that no one is showing any signs of illness before your trip. I’ll have masks on hand in case anyone picks up a bug along the way. Your dad and I are both vulnerable. We really need to safeguard our health.”

Commonsense measures such as mask wearing (for any ill person and also for you) and diligent handwashing could help to reduce the risk for everyone.

Dear Amy: I’ve been with my girlfriend for about five years. We’ve broken up a few times, mainly for short periods.

Currently we are taking a longer break while we each figure out if we want to move forward toward marriage. She says she can’t decide. Honestly, I feel like I can’t decide, either.

During the times when we’re together, I feel like I do most of the emotional “work” in the relationship, while she is more focused on her job, family, and friends.

My brother recently pulled me aside and said, basically, “Bro, you need to break up and move on.” I was pretty shocked.

I’ve read your column for a long time. I’m curious for your thoughts.

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