Life Advice



Ask Amy: Anxious host wants to politely stop

Amy Dickinson, Tribune Content Agency on

Dear Amy: How can I politely say no when friends are passing through town or vacationing here and ask if they can spend a couple of nights with us?

I have never said no to anyone and have always been gracious to anyone staying in our home, but I find I really don’t enjoy it.

I have extreme stress and anxiety days before they arrive, and also while they are here.

My husband doesn’t understand my tirades over this. He welcomes anyone who wants to stay with us.

I just don’t like people here with us 24 hours a day. I like my privacy at night to rest and read or watch television, and the last thing I want is to see faces at the breakfast table when I get up in the morning.

I know this issue will be coming up soon again as one recent guest has already said he plans to be back in town early next year.


Houseguests unsettle me, my lack of privacy is the issue, although I make sure they would never guess how I feel.

I am tired of pretending it is fine that they are staying with us.

How can I suggest that a hotel is a better choice when they ask to stay?

I don’t want to offend anyone, but my mental health is more important to me than sharing my home with out-of-towners.


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