Life Advice



Ask Amy: Single man wonders if it’s time to rekindle

Amy Dickinson, Tribune Content Agency on

Dear Amy: My friend “Brian” passed away over three years ago. I was friends with Brian and his wife “Marcia” for more than 40 years.

Prior to their relationship and subsequent marriage, Marcia and I were very close friends. We never dated. We just liked each other's company and had fun "hanging out" together. After a while, she wanted more from the relationship, but I was not ready for a long-term commitment, and shortly afterward, I moved to another state to open a restaurant.

I was very happy when Brian and Marcia married; they had a great marriage, and raised two beautiful and successful children.

My conundrum is this: I am now in my retirement years, divorced, with grown children.

I have been thinking quite often about Marcia, but I don't know how to approach her to see if she has any interest in rekindling the old feelings she had for me. Over the years I regretted not pursuing her. I was too young and too stupid.

Now I see it like this: Life is too short to not try to make yourself happy.


Is it wrong for me to even think about trying to date her?

It feels wrong because she was married to my good friend.

If the situation was different, I would want a close friend to be with my widow, knowing that he would be good to her.

Any good advice would be much appreciated!


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