Life Advice



Ask Amy: Wedding funds hinge on hair color

Amy Dickinson, Tribune Content Agency on

My fiancé feels the same way.

It's to the point that we're about to elope without telling anyone.

Is it wrong of me to stand my ground and say no to his parents?

I appreciate them helping out with the wedding, but I don't want the help if they have stipulations.

I need some insight from an outside source, thank you!

– Feeling Blue


Dear Feeling Blue: First, you should review your fiance’s motivations for repeating these things to you, and determine whether these unkind assessments reflect only his folks’ views. (He could have kept some of these comments to himself.)

You may think that your future in-laws should address these complaints directly to you, but I think they should keep their multiple opinions about you entirely to themselves.

Unless you are unethical, dangerous, or in an unhealthy relationship with their son, there is simply no legitimate reason for them to share any negative views about you to anyone.

Surely they knew that your fiancé would tell you at least some of what they’d said. Tying their financial support to your hair color virtually guaranteed this.


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