Ask Amy: Woman wants to avoid parents’ skeevy friend
– Conflicted
Dear Conflicted: You understand that your folks have the right to invite their friends to join them on their vacation.
You also understand that if any of these people make you extremely uncomfortable, then you could either confront him or avoid contact by staying away.
It is vital that you listen to your own instincts, even if you lack specific evidence to point to.
You should tell your folks that you’ve decided not to join them. If they ask you why, you should tell them, truthfully, that you are uncomfortable around “Biff,” and so you’ve decided to avoid him.
Your parents might dismiss your concerns in some expected ways: “Oh, he’s harmless; he does that to all the lovely ladies,” etc.
You can then tell them that you think he’s a skeeve, and that you don’t feel like smiling while he close-talks, flirts, and stares down your bikini top.
Emphasize that you don’t wish to control who they maintain friendships and choose to spend time with. Don’t ask them to disinvite this couple. Tell them you understand this is a long-standing friendship, but that this is your personal choice, based on your experiences and instincts.
Dear Amy: I have a friend who has recently decided to take it upon himself to invite himself to certain social occasions.
For example, he recently contacted me in the following situation: “I understand you are having dinner with the Browns tomorrow. Do you mind if we join you?”
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