Life Advice



Ask Amy: Holiday visit leads to weighty conflict

Amy Dickinson, Tribune Content Agency on

Dear Amy: Every year I spend the holidays at my sister’s house.

The past couple of years have been a little crazy for us. Our mother passed away in the early stages of the pandemic.

Then I was furloughed from my job, and my boyfriend decided I was no fun and broke up with me, so over the past few years I slowly (like many of us) put on a few pounds.

(I have recently found a new job that I like.)

My sister always comments on my weight. Always.

I had barely arrived at her house before she was telling me that I needed to lose weight, or I would die. This went on the whole time I was there. She mentioned she had also written an email to my ex about my weight. She added that our daughters were in danger, since they had also put on weight.


It blew my mind that she had the nerve to do that. I confirmed this with my ex once I returned home. He said that when he didn’t respond to her email, she sent another, demanding a response from him.

I was floored, it was inexcusable. I am not sure I can ever forgive her for this.

She is not without flaws herself and has her own family to care about. At one point we had talked about me moving close to her in the next few years since I am alone, but this last episode makes me question this and wonder if I should just cut my ties with her.

Family is family, but I feel she has overstepped big time.


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