Ask Amy: Gift-giving creates problem, tough to unwrap
I enjoy celebrating weddings, graduations, baby showers, anniversaries – events that are true milestones.
How can I put all of this in a perspective that does not make me so resentful?
– Spent Aunt
Dear Spent: The events you seem to value as important milestones are all events that adults enjoy celebrating.
The events that you don’t consider worthy on the same level are those that children generally enjoy – also those that your family didn’t celebrate.
I suggest that birthdays are actually milestone events that are very important to children, not necessarily because of the gifts, but because of the recognition.
A birthday is quite literally the celebration of a person’s existence.
Given your background, your ambivalence toward gift-giving is completely understandable, and I agree with you that gift-giving and receiving is out of control in many families.
So – don’t do it!
You could try to be the fun auntie who takes all the kids ice skating the day after Christmas. You could send nieces and nephews a birthday card in the mail with a “coupon” to take a hike or bike ride with you.
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