Ask Amy: An aging mother ponders her legacy
What do you think?
– Conflicted
Dear Conflicted: The daughter closest to you, “Chloe,” has already reaped the consequences and rewards of her behavior: she has a nice, positive, and active relationship with her mother. Your son “Bradley” has through his own choices been denied that.
Estate planning can be a complicated business, because it inspires some people to essentially reward or punish after death, when neither you nor they can do anything further.
Worrying about what others may think after you’ve died should be a non-starter.
There is no “right” answer to this question, but in my opinion, you should leave an equal amount to all three children who came into the world loved equally by you.
In addition to any funds, you can leave special material items to your favored daughter – or give them to her while you’re still around to enjoy the relationship.
You could also notify her ahead of time of your intentions and your reasoning.
Talk things through, but no matter what – you should make the choice that feels best, kindest, and most ethical to you.
Dear Amy: My long-term friend decided to ghost me a few months after his wife went in for a "routine heart procedure" and tragically never woke up.
...continued
