Ask Amy: Partner is offended by tasteless gift
Dear Amy: My partner, “Chris” just showed me a gift he bought for his adult son. This gift is a “verified” personal calling card once owned by Adolf Hitler (Hitler allegedly gave them out to people he would meet).
Chris purchased this card from an American museum’s rare items collection and spent quite a bit of money for it.
He finds this gift funny and amusing.
Chris is a nice and kind person, and he doesn’t have any prejudice against any ethnic groups.
I felt very disturbed, angry, disappointed, and perplexed by the nature of this gift. I don’t find anything related to Hitler an appropriate item for gift-giving, laughter, or amusement.
The night I learned of this gift, I was plagued by horrific images and thoughts of the crimes against humanity brought about by this monster.
I wrote a note to my partner about how I felt about it and invited him to do some soul searching about his choice. He read my note, stated that he felt angry and frustrated by it, and said, “I knew I shouldn’t have shown it to you.” He then said, “I don’t want my day ruined by this.”
I feel perplexed as how this sweet and kind partner could come up with such a gift, honoring an evil person.
I wonder how I can be at peace with it.
– Perplexed Partner!