Ask Amy: Parents want to give daughter a nudge
Your daughter is an adult, and her choices are her responsibility. But misery does love a soft bed. She has successfully descended to the level of your low expectations. Her sloth is also affecting her self-esteem.
Six months of R&R are enough. Give her two weeks to find a job – any job. Let her know that if she wants to continue living with you, she will have to work at least 20 hours a week while she pulls her more permanent plans together. Give her six months to save enough to rent her own place. This puts the total of her respite at one year, which is a generous amount of time for you to donate to her.
Does she need counseling? Help her to find it. Does she need job coaching? Help her to get some. She can do all of these things and work 20 hours a week – and she will feel much better about herself when she does.
Dear Amy: My wife and I are in our early 60s and have been married for 13 years.
Up until two or three years ago our love life was pretty good, but has gradually tapered off until a little over a year ago my wife told me she has no sex drive — which ended our sex life.
She asked our family doctor, who told her it's a normal part of aging and there's probably not much to be done.
She has said she would see if there are any alternatives but to date hasn't acted on her intentions.
While her libido is zero, mine is still what I would deem healthy for a man my age. I don't expect (nor want) daily sex, but once a week or so would be great.
I miss the sex, but I miss the intimacy just as much and find myself feeling like I'm drifting away. I don't feel like we're close any more.
I find your advice to be common sense and well-reasoned and almost always agree with your suggestions. Your advice is welcome.
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