Ask Amy: Sister wonders how to fix flawed sibling
That is how all of our fights end: With him getting an apology and me getting nothing. Do you agree that the person who "started it" should never receive any apology?
– One-sided
Dear One-sided: None of what you two do would be considered “fighting fair.” This seems more like score-settling than mature adults offering sincere apologies and receiving forgiveness.
If you two were in kindergarten and you deliberately hit your husband with a ball, and then he picked it up and hit you right back, a teacher would ask you both to apologize to one another, because you’ve both done something you shouldn’t have done that has hurt the other.
To me, the basic geometry of your interactions seems imbalanced.
But apologies, forgiveness, and reconciliation are not points on a protractor.
You two should not only settle scores, but actually attempt to reconcile and rebalance. And this man who values apologies so much should learn how to offer one.
Dear Amy: “Snacked” wrote to you about her husband’s refusal to offer their grandchild healthy snacks. I loved this line: “Kids … can happily eat broccoli trees dipped in yogurt — until Mr. Oreo comes to town.”
But don’t you think parents take this “healthy snacking” thing a little too far?
– Wondering
Dear Wondering: Anything can be taken too far. But overall – I think this “healthy snacking” trend is an extremely positive step.
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(You can email Amy Dickinson at askamy@amydickinson.com or send a letter to Ask Amy, P.O. Box 194, Freeville, NY 13068. You can also follow her on Twitter @askingamy or Facebook.)
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