Ask Amy: Lovebirds encounter a serious red light
When I expressed my feelings about this obsession he threw “eBay shopping” back in my face.
I have a “you do you” policy, but I'm beginning to think it isn't a two-way street.
I don't want a divorce, just a reverse lever.
– Health Nutty
Dear Nutty: You don’t seem to be trying to force your husband to join you in your eBay habit, but he seems to have the power (or you’ve granted it) to coax you into a red-light sauna, which is currently having something of a moment with its promises to cure just about every ailment.
Your habits are furtive, and while you claim to have a “you do you” philosophy, if you accept his right to eat and do what he wants, then why don’t you accept your own right to eat and do what you want?
In short, if you don’t want to eat and spend time in your basement’s red-light district, then take your oatmeal upstairs.
I suggest that you apply the “reverse lever” to yourself.
Continue to accept and support his health journey – as you have been. And make a choice to take good care of yourself in your own way.
Health evangelists can be hard to live with. If he bullies you about your body or hectors you over your own confident personal choices, you should find a counselor who might be able to mediate.