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Ask Amy: Mother struggles to disclose long-ago affair

Amy Dickinson, Tribune Content Agency on

In my view, every married person should be told a story about a relationship healing from infidelity – because many do heal. And any adult child would benefit from understanding that their parents made mistakes, or even emotionally wounded one another, but also made positive choices in order to stay together.

“Family” is not a designation meant only for people whose lives seem to flow in a slow and perfect current. Families are made — and sometimes made stronger —through trials, tribulation, recognizing human frailty, and – when tested — choosing love and loyalty.

Describing your very long marriage in these terms might inspire your children to learn from your story, even though they might at first be shocked or disappointed.

Dear Amy: My family and I are going through a move right now.

What are some ways we can be less stressed about it?

– Anonymous

 

Dear Anonymous: The pandemic seems to have inspired scores of people to move. Data compiled from “change of address” forms and published by the Wall Street Journal in 2021 show something of an exodus from major metropolitan areas into smaller metro areas, suburbs and rural counties.

Perhaps you are part of that trend.

I’ve moved several times — including overseas and back – and my recommendations are:

Recognize that moving is one of the most stressful life-events humans experience. An oft-quoted survey by United Van Lines of 1,000 people who had recently relocated said that a majority found moving to be more stressful than divorce. (I wonder if the people surveyed had actually experienced divorce, because – having experienced both – I beg to differ.)

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