Ask Amy: Self-taught expert oversteps with advice
I sent apologies the next morning to both my daughter and her boyfriend.
But now — what do I do?
I am not going to sit there with a smile on my face, while he goes on and on. That just encourages him.
– Fed Up
Dear Fed Up: You don’t know yet what the effect of your outburst will be. It might have shocked him into compliance. It has likely affected your daughter’s interest in spending time with all of you together.
In addition to the outburst itself, you really should NOT have gotten “personal” with him, telling him how his own parents feel about his advice.
This man obviously has a passionate interest and obsessive personality, and he is dominating your get togethers (and likely others’).
I wonder how your daughter feels about his behavior, and how she copes with it?
The more you attack him (however justified), the more your daughter may feel forced closer to him.
You have already staked out your position. In the future, if he slips into this sort of monologue, you can excuse yourself from the room – and everyone will understand – and possibly be relieved.
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