Ask Amy: Hookups lead to friendship, followed by ghosting
Did I overreact?
– Wounded Ex in the Midwest
Dear Wounded: The indelible line from John Donne’s poem “No Man is an Island” immediately comes to mind (as it so often does, lately): “…any man’s death diminishes me, For I am involved in mankind.”
Continuing to piggyback on this poem, I’ll tell you “for whom the bell tolls”: The bell tolls for you, and for every grieving person.
A friend of mine recently described the impact of the loss of friends as being like having holes blasted through your life.
You shared your life with your ex, and after your breakup, you continued on in friendship. Of course, you mourn this loss!
There is no shortcut through grief, and there is no need to justify how you feel, the way you feel, or … that you feel such intense grief after the death of a friend.
Dear Amy: Regarding your recent “Best Of” column concerning adoption (from “Distressed Sister”), we have three children: one bio and two adopted.
When we brought our second child home (three weeks old!), we were told by our social worker to tell him about the day he was adopted and to tell him frequently.
Obviously, a three-week old infant does not understand adoption, but the point was that we'd get very comfortable telling him his adoption story and be open to any questions he had as he grew up.
So, the right age for a child to learn her/his adoption story is the day you bring your child home.
– Susan E
Dear Susan: This is stellar advice, which I hope all adoptive parents will follow.
(You can email Amy Dickinson at email@example.com or send a letter to Ask Amy, P.O. Box 194, Freeville, NY 13068. You can also follow her on Twitter @askingamy or Facebook.)
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