Ask Amy: Abused daughter is now angry caregiver
When he loses close matches, it produces lot of arguments within our family and some finger pointing, and of course anger that makes some weekends very stressful.
I’m seeking any advice or ideas that you may have to address this problem.
– Tennis Dad
Dear Dad: Your son would benefit from some therapeutic “coaching” from a qualified counselor who has experience working with high-octane teens.
You should not pressure him, and make sure he understands that winning at life will always be more important than winning at tennis.
Stepping away from tennis altogether for a time (if he wants to) might help him to clarify whether he can feel joy playing well in a tough match, even if he loses.
I recommend that your family read Andre Agassi’s riveting and revealing autobiography: “Open: An Autobiography,” (written with J.R. Moehringer), (2009, Knopf).
Agassi wrote: “A win doesn’t feel as good as a loss feels bad, and the good feeling doesn’t last as long as the bad. Not even close.”
Dear Amy: People often ask you how to respond when someone directs an offensive or baffling comment their way.
I know they are looking for a good one-liner, but my mother had a way of shutting people down: She would just quietly look at them and not say anything.
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