Ask Amy: Family feud is sparked by tragic loss
We’re now approaching our son’s first birthday and my husband’s 40th birthday (two days apart).
We would love to invite her to celebrate and to meet her baby, but I think it’s highly unlikely they will accept.
What should we do? I am hurt by her lack of interest in my son’s existence and her statements about not wanting to see me pregnant.
I know she’s had a rough couple of years and is not in the healthiest mental space.
– I Miss Her
Dear Miss Her: Over the last couple of years, your sister-in-law has endured a heartbreaking pregnancy and had a baby die, has become pregnant again, and now has another baby.
According to you, she somehow made it to your baby shower after her loss, but then shared her emotions about it with her brother.
You and your husband consider these high emotions the start of a “feud,” but from where I sit it seems less like a shot across the bow and more like an anguished cry in the dark.
Her priority at this point should be to see a therapist to attend to her grief and possible post-partum depression and emotional exhaustion.
She may struggle with celebration days, such as baby showers and birthdays, for some time to come.