Ask Amy: Proud papa wants to stop crop top
Dear Amy: I am the proud papa of a brilliant, beautiful, 18-year-old daughter. She is thriving as a freshman in college.
She came home recently for Thanksgiving wearing a “crop top,” exposing her stomach (we live in a very warm climate).
She is 20 pounds overweight. I know she doesn’t need to be reminded of this, as she is aware and diligently working out at the gym.
She walks everywhere she needs to go, and we purchased her a bike for her to use at school, so she rides that, too.
How do I (or should I) tell my daughter that crop tops are just not the best look for her?
I was going to say something while she was with us, but I chickened out and decided to write to you instead.
– Proud Papa
Dear Papa: You might believe that you “chickened out,” but I believe that your instincts kicked in, telling you how potentially damaging your remarks might have been to your daughter’s self-esteem.
She is already aware of and handling her weight in a healthy way. It might seem petty to you, but a critical remark, especially from her dad, could derail her progress, or (much worse) inspire disordered eating.
Your daughter, like all daughters, is literally surrounded by cues and images about what her body should look like.
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