Life Advice



Ask Amy: Mom’s needs must take a back seat

Amy Dickinson, Tribune Content Agency on

Dear Amy: My 57-year-old husband has stage 4 terminal pancreatic cancer.

This is a terrible time for our family.

My focus is on my husband and our two grown sons.

Then there is my narcissistic, manipulative mother.

She's been my focus for several years because of many health issues.

Her health is currently stable, and she's not getting the attention she's used to.


She calls several times a day and is always crying and needing comfort.

I've finally stopped crying — until she calls.

She wants to have weekend get-togethers — every weekend — and gets mad when that doesn't happen.

I've told her that this isn't about her, and my husband isn't up to day-long gatherings. How do I make her understand that for the time being, we are only doing what he needs, and wants?


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