Ask Amy: Husband’s secret could make for awkward vacation
– Distraught
Dear Distraught: You interpret and present this communication as a direct threat to your marriage, and because of that, you must be brave enough to discuss it with your husband.
I assume that your hesitation about raising this issue is at least partly due to your fear about what this conversation might reveal. Does your husband want to end the marriage? You will have to do your best to prepare yourself for almost any answer.
One response that you will be able to predict with complete accuracy: Your husband will blame you for finding this out. I hope you can remain calm during these initial blame-making moments. Take responsibility for snooping (if you have done), and move onto the next phase of this very tough conversation, which is – “What now? What next?”
A marriage counselor could help you two to navigate this; therapy would also be useful for you alone. Even if you don’t solicit the help of a professional an empathic family member or friend can both guide and support you.
Dear Amy: I am 74. My only biological brother is three years younger.
We are not "close,” but we pulled together when our parents died and after one of our step-siblings passed away, last year.
His wife of 50 years has just died. It was unexpected.
He is a guy of few words, but he texted me that there will be a memorial service in September. My heart sank, because my spouse and I have a bicycle trip planned in France with another couple in September!
Would it be totally wrong for me to tell him about our away dates before he schedules something?
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