Ask Amy: Break-up encounters should be negotiations
That impulse on your part is why it is important for you to learn to differentiate between his needs, and your own.
You should now work hard to stop “handling” him at all.
If you are splitting up your household, think of these encounters as negotiations, not emotional relationship encounters.
When your encounters and negotiations veer into name-calling or emotional manipulation, you should steer it back to the bloodless practicality of who gets the bookshelf.
In terms of the future: when you know better, you do better. And now you know better.
Dear Amy: I participate in a number of Zoom-based discussion groups. They have been a great way to remain in contact people and to gather in people from near and far. Zoom did not take off until COVID hit. But what happens when things return to “normal?”
I posed this question to one of my Zoom groups. The group had met for years in the back room of a local restaurant. With COVID’s arrival we switched to Zoom meetings. Most, but not all the former attendees joined. However, over time a number of out-of-towners joined the Zoom group, some from outside the U.S.
My question to the group was, “What do we do as a group after COVID is gone, do we cease using Zoom and abandon the group members who can’t meet with us?”
Do we have parallel meetings, one in person and another on Zoom? Do we resort to in-person meetings with some Zoom connection that brings everyone back together in a hybrid manner?
What’s the next normal?
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