Ask Amy: ‘Stella’s’ groove brings out the family creep
Should my sister keep this secret, or let our cousin know what her husband is doing?
— Concerned Big Sis
Dear Big Sis: “Ted” is a creep. More on that later. But your question partly concerns whether “Stella” should notify your cousin “Candace” because her husband Ted subscribes to Stella’s “X-rated entertainment” account.
If Stella is providing pornography behind a paywall, I would assume that many, if not most, of her customers are somebody’s husband/significant other.
I’ll draw an equivalence to a medium like Penthouse magazine. If Stella is hired to pose for Penthouse, then should your cousin’s husband be “outed” because he bought it at a newsstand? No.
Your mom knows about Stella’s groove, and so I would imagine that this acceptance would override any extreme family awkwardness.
Ted’s choice to harass Stella should NOT remain anyone’s “dirty little secret,” however.
Even though Ted might have thought he was engaging in some creative and sexy role-play, having a relative inform her of her role in his fantasy life is … creepy! Stella should respond directly to Ted, shutting him down. And, depending on how he responds, in order to deny him the pleasure of having her as his “dirty little secret,” she should feel free to out him.
You should assume that Ted’s wife will side with him. But, since his harassment is indefensible, I don’t think the rest of the family should worry too much about him or his feelings.
Dear Amy: A few years ago, my husband and I met a couple who would become our best friends. They have two daughters, and we have one.
...continued
