Ask Amy: October wedding creates a pandemic dilemma
I have made movie plans with a female friend who then asked to bring her new boyfriend (whom I had never met) along.
The goal of these events is generally for women friends to catch up, see a film, shop, have fun, etc.
I like to spend time with my female friends for this purpose -- not to have to entertain or listen to a guy, who changes the dynamic and makes me feel like a fifth wheel.
So when this happens, what should I say?
Fifth Wheelin’
Dear Wheelin’: Forgive me if I wax nostalgic, remembering a time when people just casually went to the movies. Ah, those were the days. Of all the social activities that have paused during the pandemic, going to the movies is the one I miss the most.
This is easy. If you issue an invitation, you get to dictate the terms, but please don’t blame your women friends for asking. They’re only asking, and you get to answer.
If the question is: “Is it OK if John comes along?” The answer should be: “Not this time. I’m leaving my guy behind, too.”
Dear Amy: “Left Out in Lancaster, PA,” described the classic “friendship triangle,” where one person is gradually excluded.
Having been on all sides of a friendship triangle, Left Out might consider that a sexual attraction is developing between the two friends who are leaving her out.
Been There
Dear Been There: It is a distinct possibility.
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(You can email Amy Dickinson at askamy@amydickinson.com or send a letter to Ask Amy, P.O. Box 194, Freeville, NY 13068. You can also follow her on Twitter @askingamy or Facebook.)
