Friend's romantic partner is too elusive
Dear Amy: My two grown sons do not talk to one another because of a stupid fight. They are both very hot-headed.
I've tried talking to them separately but get nowhere. Their wives don't want to get involved -- they both say that even bringing it up causes problems. As a result, there are no birthdays, no holidays, and nothing is celebrated! These men are both in their 50s, and I am in my 80s and not getting any younger. I'm already thinking about the coming holidays and how sad it makes me. I just don't know how to solve this ongoing problem. Can you please give me some advice?
-- Brokenhearted Mother
Dear Brokenhearted: For now, you should plan to see each of your sons separately. This way you won't be completely deprived of company on these days you want to celebrate.
If there are events festering and leftover from childhood that you could acknowledge and encourage them to talk to you about, it might help, but if this dynamic has existed for a long time, you might not be able to have much of an impact.
I also hope you can get to a place where you accept that these two men are both adults and responsible for their own behavior. Repairing this rift will ultimately reside with them.
Dear Amy: "I'm Not Your Mom" complained because co-workers routinely left all of their food in the work refrigerator, and refused to clean it.
At my work, the cleaning service empties everything in the fridge at close of business on Friday. Period. A big sign on the fridge door said so.
If you left stuff in your own Tupperware -- voila, on Monday it was gone. People learned quickly to be responsible.
-- No Leftover
Dear Leftover: When I was a kid and it was my sister's turn to clean the living room, any personal possessions you left there would get thrown onto the lawn.
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(You can email Amy Dickinson at askamy@amydickinson.com or send a letter to Ask Amy, P.O. Box 194, Freeville, NY 13068. You can also follow her on Twitter @askingamy or Facebook.)
