ArcaMax

The hospital that performed her surgery should offer a referral for a counselor specializing in this common relationship response.

Dear Amy: Am I being heartless for wanting to cut off my 24-year-old daughter? She is engaged to be married in the fall of 2020, but she is a full-time student who does pet-sitting as a part-time job. She lives with her boyfriend, and he has a full-time job.

She and her boyfriend moved away to her college city almost three years ago and we see them when they visit once or twice a year.

We have younger children and feel that although she is still a full-time student, we have to set a cut-off age and stop paying for her cellphone bill. This is the only expense we pay for her. We aren't in the financial position to help any of our children with college tuition.

My daughter got extremely angry when I brought up the subject of her taking over her phone bill, saying she doesn't have the money, yet I know she pays for video-streaming subscriptions, and is going to a concert for a performer she has seen a couple times already.

She finishes her very demanding semester in May and says that she might take one class during the summer. How can I make her realize that she is being unreasonable? Or am I being heartless?

I want to tell her to get another job during the summer and stop acting like an entitled brat!

-- Mad Mom Lisa

Dear Mad Mom: The cellphone bill seems to have emerged as a major marker of emerging adulthood. (I was inordinately proud of my own daughter when she suddenly suggested that she would take over the cost of her own phone -- and yes, she was 24.)

You are not being heartless. But your daughter -- and her younger siblings -- will not know what your boundaries are unless you establish them.

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