Casual dater wonders if she was the 'other woman'
-- Curious about a Grave
Dear Curious: If you want to see this grave, then go find it yourself. When you do, you might see that it is little more than a marker, standing among other markers, delineating a life.
What you really want is to know more about your grandmother. I assume your mother wants to know more, too, although she has closed the wound around her loss.
Ask if she has any photos or stories to share. Sit quietly with her while she thinks about it. Be honest about your curiosity and gentle toward her. It is completely appropriate -- and very common at your age -- to be curious about your family. Putting these pieces together is part of your effort to figure out who you are.
Dear Amy: "Leaning Toward Matrimony" mentioned that they feel a little silly using the word "boyfriend" at age 35. I threw this word out of my vocabulary as I hit puberty decades ago. I do not consider myself a "girl." I am a woman.
I use the term "partner" to signify my years-long relationship. I find this term better identifies what are relationship is, and does away with calling adults "boys and girls," which is a pet-peeve of mine.
-- Someone's "Partner"
Dear Partner: "Leaning" wanted to change more than the nomenclature. She wanted to get married.
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(You can contact Amy Dickinson via email: ASKAMY@amydickinson.com. Readers may send postal mail to Ask Amy, P.O. Box 194, Freeville, NY 13068. You can also follow her on Twitter @askingamy or "like" her on Facebook.)
