Long-married wife struggles with self-esteem
My husband's extended family (including Jon's wife) were invited. She declined.
I'm now very tempted to decline any of their gift-giving invitations from now on, but my husband says we should be the bigger people. Am I being petty?
-- Confused
Dear Confused: I don't think you are being petty. I think you are being proportional.
It is natural to consider pulling back from people who don't appreciate or reciprocate. What you shouldn't do is proactively decline all future invitations.
Their behavior toward you has released you from feeling 100 percent obligated to accept every invitation they issue. From now on, you should spend time with them if/when you want to.
Dear Amy: "Finding My Way" described life after discovering her guy was talking to other women, receiving nude photos and was registered on a dating site.
I know it sounds crazy, but I actually put up with this when we were dating and then went on to marry the guy!
I hope she doesn't make the same mistake.
-- Learned the Hard Way
Dear Learned: Reading the signs, accepting the truth and making rational choices will help "Finding" to avoid your fate.
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(You can contact Amy Dickinson via email: ASKAMY@amydickinson.com. Readers may send postal mail to Ask Amy, P.O. Box 194, Freeville, NY 13068. You can also follow her on Twitter @askingamy or "like" her on Facebook.)
