Girlfriend is orbiting in retrograde
When I inevitably reject these men, they start hurling insults at me. One man even threatened to commit suicide! Most recently, my friend "Jennifer" gave my contact information to a man who claims to be 35 but he looks more like he's 45. I was shocked that she would do that without my consent, let alone with a man so much older! I've been ignoring his messages.
My last year of college is going to be stressful enough with starting a new job in my field and applying to grad school, and I don't want needless drama on top of it.
How can I convince my friends to understand that I am perfectly capable of finding my own boyfriends and to leave me alone?
-- Single Lady
Dear Single Lady: You quite obviously feel bullied by your friends. It might be time for you to graduate into some new friendships.
No one should give out your contact information without your approval, and you should not accept any contact from anyone you don't know. Treat the calls and texts from these potential fix-ups the same way you treat spam: Ignore. Delete. Block. Any "friend" who supplies your contact information has deliberately violated your privacy. This is not what friends do.
You might have left the impression that you are open to this by communicating with any of these men. Don't. Put the word out to all of your friends at the same time: "I'm reminding everyone that I don't want to be fixed up with anyone. Please don't ever share my contact information."
After that, any friend who does this should be struck from your friend list.
Dear Amy: "Not-a-Spender" expressed valid concerns about her stepdaughters, who are being wildly overindulged by their mother.
Your advice -- to give these girls experiences instead of material things -- sounds good, but I'm sorry to tell you that it will not work. Kids will always prefer the latest toy over an adult wanting to take them on a picnic.
-- Disappointed
Dear Disappointed: You might be right in some instances, but overall, I completely disagree.
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(You can contact Amy Dickinson via email: askamy@amydickinson.com. Readers may send postal mail to Ask Amy, P.O. Box 194, Freeville, NY 13068. You can also follow her on Twitter @askingamy or "like" her on Facebook.)
