ArcaMax

Now that her son is living with us, she has become more argumentative, demanding and distant. (A couple of friends have even asked me if that guy is really her son!) Now, she is asking me to buy her a car, even though she doesn't know how to drive.

After 20 months of marriage I'm ready to throw in the towel. Do you have any advice for me?

-- Taken

Dear Taken: Take that money you've been saving for your wife's liposuction, and get yourself a lawyer. You should take every measure possible to legally protect yourself and your finances, and to get her and her son out of your household. This might be more challenging than you realize, and so you should make sure you have good legal advice.

The way you describe this, your wife sounds like a practiced scammer, and in you she seems to have found a willing mark. I'm very sorry this has happened -- nice and kind people like you are vulnerable to people who will take advantage of your kindness. But now it is time to be kind to yourself.

Dear Amy: I'm responding to "Trapped," who needed a way to cut short office visits with her boss, "Mr. Talky Pants."

In addition to your idea that she set an alarm on her phone, Trapped could get a free phone app and can set up a fake call to come in at a designated time. Some apps even let the user record a message, ostensibly what the "caller" is saying in real time.

The phone rings, Trapped reflexively glances at the phone, gasps and (holding the phone up so the fake contact info can be seen), apologizes to Mr. Talky Pants, saying that they need to take the call.

With practice Trapped can time breaks in the message to respond with stuff like:

"Hello, Bob, did you get the report?"

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