Retired colleague is tired of social work
I lived through an extremely similar situation with my brother. He constantly asked my parents for money. He has a family of his own, and was still relying on my parents, and likely his wife's to some extent, to get them through the rough spots.
He even asked me to take money out of my 401k for him!
I resented him so badly, because he was taking advantage of my parents. I got so fed up that I wrote him a very long letter about how all that made me feel (similar to your recommendation).
That was a turning point for our relationship. After he finally got sober, we have grown closer.
Unfortunately, I've had to learn that only he can control what he does, and only I can control my reaction to it. I'm still not very good at it, but it's a process.
-- Grateful
Dear Grateful: Good for you!
Dear Amy: I've enjoyed the letters from readers regarding how they divide their household chores.
When my wife and I had our child, I generously offered to take over all laundry duties, since she was the one that had to get up at all hours of the night to feed and deal with our baby.
This system worked out very well. I still do the laundry and the "baby" is now 39 years old.
You can recognize me if you see me: I'm the guy with "sucker" written across his forehead.
Not really complaining,
-- Happy Husband, Vedra Beach, Florida
Dear Happy Husband: I assume that your wife appreciates how this particular deal worked out.
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(You can contact Amy Dickinson via email: askamy@amydickinson.com. Readers may send postal mail to Amy Dickinson, c/o Tribune Content Agency, LLC., 16650 Westgrove Dr., Suite 175, Addison, TX 75001. You can also follow her on Twitter @askingamy or "like" her on Facebook.)
