Embryo donation or egg or sperm donation: A few points to compare

If you are in a position to need sperm or egg donation, or both, you might be comparing this with embryo donation as a path to pregnancy. Below are key points to consider, and some questions that may arise as you sort through your options.

Since pregnancy is your primary goal here, you are probably thinking about which option is likely to work best. With embryo donation, one might say you get a head start, since you begin with healthy embryos. However, the number of embryos you receive will be limited.

You could decide to seek a second donor family if you don’t achieve pregnancy with embryos from the first donor, although this would be a long, discouraging path. By contrast, if you seek donated sperm and eggs separately and begin with a large number of eggs, you may have a larger number of embryos to work with.

Time frame and cost. The good news is that each of these options can be available to you without delay. You can obtain donor sperm from a donor known to you, or from major cryobanks within days of choosing a donor. If you choose frozen eggs, these can be secured quickly also. Donated embryos take longer to locate and arrange for their transfer from one family to another.

Your medical insurance will play a big role in determining the expenses associated with each option. Sperm from a known donor usually is free. With egg and sperm donation from a cryobank, you will owe a fee to the donors. In the case of egg donors, fees can be high. With embryo donation, no fee is paid to the donating family.

Your child’s story. If you opt for embryo donation, your child’s story began with another family planning to have a baby. You may wonder if your child will have feelings of displacement similar to what some adoptees report. Or, carrying and giving birth to your baby may make embryo donation feel fundamentally different from adoption. Double donation — conceiving a child with both donated eggs and sperm — also offers the connection that comes with pregnancy, although you may wonder how your child will make sense of being conceived by two people who never knew each other. A single donation of either egg or sperm offers a genetic connection to one parent, which some feel helps root a child in the family. Yet each of these origin stories is complicated, making it essential that you feel comfortable with the story before you move forward. Long before being able to understand the story, your child can sense that you feel secure in the rightness of your decision.

Decisions like these abound worldwide

If you are taking a serious look at embryo donation and comparing it to other parenthood options available to you, you are not alone. The arrival of IVF in 1978 has led to a series of new paths to parenthood. Each one drew pioneers who took a careful look before moving forward into new and unfamiliar territory. Making the decision with patience, thoughtfulness, and information has enabled them to embrace and celebrate the families that they have built.

For more information

Regulations, rules, and costs of different paths to parenthood vary by state and other factors. These resources may help you track down information you need to make a decision.

Resolve

Parents Via Egg Donation (PVED)

(Ellen S. Glazer, LICSW, is a guest contributor to Harvard Health Publications.)

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