ArcaMax

Editor's Note: Zola is enjoying vacation this week. Please enjoy this previously published recipe.

To Chew or Not to Chew. That is the question...My Gum Investigation

I have been bombarded lately by Plan Z dieters who want to know if they can chew gum.

My first answer is to try to direct them to a product called WOW Drops if they are worried about their breath. WOW Drops are pure peppermint oil so it’s not filled with sugar. Nor is it filled with artificial sweeteners. That’s all good news.

But some say it’s not their breath they are worried about. They tell me they are basically addicted to the activity of chewing. Moving their mouth up and down and flexing their jaw is a difficult activity to clear out of their habit chain. For some it provides needed stress relief.

My next answer, be it rather facetious, is to tell them that chewing on a pencil would be better than chewing any gum I have been able to find. Chewing on pencils has always carried a bad reputation. You were gauche if you chewed your pencil. Some nuns in Catholic schools used to slap you with a ruler if you chewed your pencil. I witnessed that one!

My next option is to take the eraser off of the pencil and chew on that. Let the eraser bounce around between your teeth for a while. Chewing on rubber might not be so fun, so maybe the habit would cure itself.

Yet they keep coming to me asking me to find them gum.

I have tried.

I have investigated every gum I can find on the internet. I even resorted to checking out gums not yet available in the US, lest we be able to important healthy gum on behalf of Plan Z dieters. (Now, I say that’s full customer service.) Problem is I keep failing in my quest.

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