Make a Living But Remember to Live
Many of us are too hard on ourselves. And no, it has not always been this way.
Recently, the father of one of my son's friends compared what he's going through with what his parents experienced.
"You know when my dad was my age, it was different," he said. "When he came home at five, he was home. That was the end of his day. Now, with email and cellphones, you're never off work. You're always plugged in. And, then, no matter what you're doing, you feel guilty because you know there's always something else you should be doing."
He's right. These days, we're conditioned to always be fulfilling some role.
I myself never get it right. When my 7-year-old son was a toddler, I was working 14-hour days, and so I missed some of the best moments. Now I stare at photos of him at that age, and I don't remember living through those times with him. Those were good years professionally for me, and yet I look back and feel impoverished.
On the other hand, last weekend, I had a great time with all three of my kids -- watching them play soccer or volleyball, and dance ballet, then taking them all out to a pumpkin patch. The next day, my wife and I took them on a day trip out to the country.
Guess what? No work got done. But so what? You have to make a living, but not at the expense of not having a life.
It's all part of being a hands-on parent, determined not to repeat past mistakes -- because I'm busy making new ones.
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Ruben Navarrette's email address is ruben@rubennavarrette.com.
Copyright 2014 Washington Post Writers Group
