ArcaMax

I understand that it can be gross to look into the sink and see bits of food or toothpaste there, which is why people who are brave -- or foolish -- enough to brush their teeth in a public restroom should use a paper towel to clean and dry the sink bowl afterward.

Dear Amy: For the holidays, my family and I always go all out on presents. We exchange gifts with all my family members and we always make sure that we spend a good amount of money on each other.

This year, my siblings and I decided to spring for a vacation for my parents. At the last minute, one of my siblings pulled out, but the rest of us decided to go ahead. We decided to get them something small for Christmas Day while we gather more money for their trip.

On Christmas, we exchanged gifts. A day later my mom confronted me and told me that my dad was sad because his present was not as extravagant as he thought it would be.

He said that he has always been there for me and that he never charges me money when he helps me with my 3-year-old, so he was devastated.

Should I tell him about the trip we have planned? I am hurt that he is hurt, and I do not want him to think that I forgot about him.

This whole dilemma has even disrupted my sleep. What should I do?

-- Upset

Dear Upset: You have a tradition in your family of being extravagant. This creates very real expectations. This year, when you presented your gift, you should have said, "There is something bigger waiting in the wings, but this is a token until we can give it to you."

As it is, you should tell your father that you understand and are sorry he is disappointed. Tell him you appreciate him, and let him know that his big gift didn't arrive on time, but you've been working on it for a while, and hope to deliver it very soon.

I hope you and your siblings plan something you are fairly certain your parents will want, or at least build in some flexibility for them. Surprise vacations are sometimes a challenge, if people are locked into a plan they didn't have a hand in making.

Dear Amy: "Upset Aunt" was staying away from meeting her great-nephew because the baby's parents told her their pediatrician didn't want the baby to have contact with other children. If this is the doctor's advice, then Upset shouldn't question it.

-- A Reader

Dear Reader: "Upset" also needs to respect the parents' judgment. Her reaction was disrespectful, and I hope she apologizes to them.

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(You can contact Amy Dickinson via email: askamy@amydickinson.com. Readers may send postal mail to Amy Dickinson, c/o Tribune Content Agency, LLC., 16650 Westgrove Dr., Suite 175, Addison, TX 75001. You can also follow her on Twitter @askingamy or "like" her on Facebook.)