When memes turn mean, FB friend is hurt
The reason these politically opposite people are nice to your face is because they like you. The reason these same people post insensitive memes mocking vegetarians is because they have decided to forgive you for your supposed "flaws." They've put you in a separate category from everyone else and think it's fun or funny to mock strangers.
Your choices are to push back on the same platforms where you see these postings, or (my vote) use a filter to "hide" these types of posts.
Dear Amy: I have worked with "Jenny" for a little over two years. We never spent time together outside of work, but I used to call her my "work bestie." I have been distancing myself from her over the last few months because she was making racist comments and I do not agree with her politics.
I've tried to maintain a good working relationship, but it is obvious that our friendship has cooled. Jenny has, very loudly, been discussing her upcoming wedding plans with a coworker, even making a point to say that she didn't want gifts but preferred cash (she and her fiance have been together more than a decade, are done having children and own their home).
The same coworker told me she thought Jenny wanted us to throw her a shower, and probably wanted a cash gift.
The wedding is six months away, but I have little indication that any of us are actually invited to this wedding.
My initial thought was that you are probably not obligated to give someone a wedding gift if you are not invited to the wedding, but when Jenny and I were close, she helped organize a baby shower for me and gave several thoughtful gifts.
So, if your coworker is getting married, are you obligated to throw a shower or give gifts, regardless of whether you are invited to the wedding? And also, if someone you are no longer close with did something nice for you prior to the falling out, is it just good manners to return the favor?
-- To Gift or Not to Gift
Dear to Gift: If "Jenny" organized a workplace shower for you and has thoughtfully given you gifts over the past two years, then yes, it would be kind of you to mark her marriage by also giving her a gift.
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