ArcaMax

-- Worried

Dear Worried: My first thought is that the main thing you can change is to get your face out of your wife's private diary. If you are concerned about lying and cheating, perhaps you should look in the mirror. Reading her diary is disrespect of the first order.

Your wife might be approaching another manic episode. If you are worried about this, you should discuss it with her. If you are jealous of her friendship with another man, you should be honest about it, and then consider trusting her if she says she isn't into him.

You have glossed over your own actions -- you mention you were arrested, but you don't say why.

She is expressing some things in her diary that she should (also) express to you, but she has the right to her private thoughts and expressions. You two should see a therapist together to discuss your considerable family stressors and work on how to communicate more effectively and respectfully.

Dear Amy: I have a friend I have been seeing once a week for coffee. It feels like a one-sided friendship to me, in that she spends most of the time talking about herself.

I am a good listener and ask her questions, but sometimes I feel like I'm more her therapist than her friend.

I've decided after months of this that I was going to make myself less available, and that has worked out.

I had not seen her for several months until a few weeks ago, and the same pattern is there, but the rub is this: She will barely look me in the eyes! I don't know what to make of it. I keep thinking if she didn't want to see me, she'd make excuses, but she doesn't.

But whether she's talking about herself or listening to me, she won't make eye contact. It's just really weird, and it makes me feel like something is wrong with me. I'm thinking about just coming right out and asking her. What would you suggest?

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