ArcaMax

My own practice is to never post photos of children (including my own) unless I have permission by adult children or the parents of grandchildren. I never tag anyone in photos and am deliberately vague about relationships.

If people wish to tag themselves (or their children), they can do so, but it should be their choice.

Anyone who makes a choice to post a photo of a child including identifying details for all the world to see is taking a risk about how that photo and identifiers might be shared and used outside of their personal social media friendship circles, now and for all time (including dissemination by technology that hasn't even been developed yet).

Because you are being more cautious than some other parents, keep reminding family members of your policy and ask them to remove tags or photos when you see them. My impression is that younger parents are more intentional about their social media use than their parents are.

And when grandparents hop onto Facebook, they tend to be completely off the hook. Be forewarned and continue to monitor closely.

Dear Amy: My wife's birthday was June 16, and I am planning a surprise birthday party for her this month (August). I know it sounds weird, but my sons are able to come in from out of town, so now is a good time for the celebration.

I have never planned a surprise party before, and I am wondering what advice you can provide to keep the occasion from being awkward since it is several weeks late. Will it be OK to sing her happy birthday? Is it OK for the guests to bring her gifts?

Any recommendations to help make it a positive/memorable event?

-- Belated

Dear Belated: First, you should ask yourself if your wife would enjoy a surprise party.

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