ArcaMax

Dear Amy: My childhood friend is getting married. She asked me to be her matron of honor. She then turned into a Bridezilla and hurt my feelings several times. I finally told her that I was upset and hurt. I said I wanted to talk.

Instead of talking on the phone she sent me an email "relinquishing me of my duties" and accusing me of "going through something."

I tried to call her, but she has now completely cut me out of her life. She won't answer the phone..

She would still like me to be a guest at her wedding and I am wondering why she is projecting her wedding stress and anxiety onto me. I am very hurt and do not feel comfortable going to her wedding. Should I be the bigger person and go? -- Wedding Worried

Dear Worried: I assume you are relieved that you have been stripped of your matron of honor duties. Judging by the mail I receive from exhausted and impoverished wedding attendants, you're living the dream.

However, being a bride is (also) extremely stressful. Part of the attendant's job description is to help the bride cope with her stress by being helpful and occasionally extra-tolerant.

The bride accused you of "going through something." It sounds as if you are.

Now that you don't have an official function, if you don't want to attend this wedding, you should stay home. Notify the bride. Simply tell her you won't be able to come and wish her a very happy day. You seem to think that you would be doing her some kind of favor by attending her wedding. She may not see it that way.

Dear Amy: I want to tell the poor man who signed his letter "Divided Family" that it is OK to cut off contact when someone is abusive. Do not feel guilty for protecting yourself and family. It is the right thing to do to keep your children away from toxic people. Don't let this abuse affect another generation. -- Been There

Dear Been There: I agree with you -- and I agreed with this man's choice to keep his children away from his father. Reconciliation with his own father seemed possible, but not likely.

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(You can contact Amy Dickinson via email: askamy@tribpub.com. You can also follow her on Twitter @askingamy or "like" her on Facebook. Amy Dickinson's memoir, "The Mighty Queens of Freeville: A Mother, a Daughter and the Town that Raised Them" (Hyperion), is available in bookstores.)