Grieving woman deals with cowardly father-in-law
If you want for your hurt to be recognized, then you will have to do the hard work of communicating your feelings directly to him, without any expectation that he will respond well. After that, I hope you can heal.
DEAR AMY: We have a new dog park in town and generally things are very tame there. Sometimes there's a dust-up over aggressive behavior, but that's usually on the part of owners, not their canine charges.
Lately, I've encountered people bringing very small children and letting them play among the dogs.
This frankly scares the heck out of me and strikes me as asking for trouble. When the number of dogs hits critical mass and they begin to run around as a pack, I fear the worst.
Rather than confront the "responsible" adult with what I see as reckless behavior, I leave with my dog, feeling slightly cowardly. What do you suggest as a way of keeping everyone safe and happy in the park? -- Nervous in Redlands
DEAR NERVOUS: I'm assuming that these parents don't also have a dog at the park. Undoubtedly they have seen adorable YouTube videos of bullmastiffs safely nuzzling babies -- and think that all dogs somehow know how to protect and nurture children. I can't imagine watching this unfold and choosing to simply slip out of the dog park. And other dog owners are allowing this?
You should approach the parents and warn them that a small child mingling with a pack of active dogs is extremely risky. Dogs behave differently when they are influencing each other and running as a group. Bring your own dog and let the child pet it, but caution the parent to be careful. If the parent rejects your attempt to protect the child, then yes -- slip out the back.
DEAR AMY: "Wondering Mom" read her teen son's email and discovered to her horror that he was sort of disgusting.
Sigh. When I was 14, I stole a neighbor's car. (I brought it back!) I broke into homes and re-arranged the furniture. The greatest spurt of brain growth since birth occurs at this age, making most teenagers (especially boys) insane. I turned out fine. I'm sure this boy will, too. -- Steve
DEAR STEVE: Sage perspective on teen insanity. Thank you.
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(You can contact Amy Dickinson via email: askamy@tribpub.com. You can also follow her on Twitter @askingamy or "like" her on Facebook. Amy Dickinson's memoir, "The Mighty Queens of Freeville: A Mother, a Daughter and the Town that Raised Them" (Hyperion), is available in bookstores.)
