Mom of three wants to put a ring on it
One immediate suggestion is that you stop referring to the father of your children as your "boyfriend." Parenthood is not a job for "boys." At the least, you should start thinking of this person as your partner.
DEAR AMY: I have been married for almost a year and a half. My wife is my entire life. We are very open and honest. I've never cared about someone's past (exes or past boyfriends). I'm a huge believer that if you keep looking at the past, you are going to run into something big ahead of you.
My wife constantly brings up my past, at random times. I tell her every time that I love her and only her. That I don't want to focus on the past, just on my present and future. We have had many arguments over this issue. I have had all I can handle.
-- Help Me!
DEAR HELP: You should answer any questions your wife has about your past. "I love you and don't want to talk about it" is not an answer.
If, after receiving truthful answers to questions, she continues to bring up your past -- especially during stressful moments -- you have a relationship problem that a marriage counselor can help with.
Bringing up a person's past -- either during an argument or as a way to start an argument -- is extremely destructive to the relationship. This may spring from deep insecurity on your wife's part, but it is very unfair to you, and she needs to train herself to stop.
DEAR AMY: Responding to "K's" frustration over people on their phones during dinners out -- I am in the "cellphone generation" and even I hate when people are always on their phone at dinner. We have an ongoing rule that really helps with this.
When we dine as a group, the first person to take out the phone pays the bill for everyone!
It's a great rule that keeps us connected with each other and not with the alluring glow of social media.
-- Jen
DEAR JEN: Brilliant. Thank you.
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(You can contact Amy Dickinson via email: askamy@tribpub.com. You can also follow her on Twitter @askingamy or "like" her on Facebook. Amy Dickinson's memoir, "The Mighty Queens of Freeville: A Mother, a Daughter and the Town that Raised Them" (Hyperion), is available in bookstores.)
