Mom worries, is her son growing up too fast?
During the week she sticks to a strict routine, but on the weekends she often engages in binge drinking.
Her friends think she's the life of the party. While drunk, she's lost things, done things she can't remember and injured herself. Since she's always able to recover, she doesn't think she has a problem.
I think she has a HUGE problem, but I don't know what to do about it. Expressing disapproval and concern seems to only have a short-term effect.
She lives far away from us now and we don't want to sever contact with her. Suggestions? -- Mom Who's Losing Sleep
DEAR MOM: Of course you don't want to sever contact with your daughter. Honest, nonjudgmental communication is exactly what your relationship needs, even if this produces challenges on both sides.
You should not be afraid to voice your concern, but she is an adult and she is making her own choices. Her behavior has many risks associated with it -- and she is experiencing some of these consequences already.
You and your husband could benefit from attending Al-Anon meetings (al-anon.org), to help you to cope with your anxiety over your daughter's behavior and to accept your powerlessness to control her, even if you continue to worry about her.
DEAR AMY: I thought your response to "Always a Bridesmaid" was spot-on.
I was in my late 20s when I ended a seven-year relationship. I wanted to marry, and he didn't. I'm now in my 50s. I eventually found a man who was as enthusiastic about marriage as I was, and we are still happy together. My former boyfriend married another woman and is now divorced.
Before his wedding, my old boyfriend contacted me and said he was worried about whether he would make a good husband. This experience has led me to believe that marriage is right for some people and not others. -- Happy on Long Island
DEAR HAPPY: Absolutely. Thank you.
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(You can contact Amy Dickinson via email: askamy@tribpub.com. You can also follow her on Twitter @askingamy or "like" her on Facebook. Amy Dickinson's memoir, "The Mighty Queens of Freeville: A Mother, a Daughter and the Town that Raised Them" (Hyperion), is available in bookstores.)
