ArcaMax

Q: My father passed away, and my stepmom said that I could have the house. My father and my stepmom were married when he died, but she left him over seven years ago.

The home was in both of their names with rights of survivorship. She hasn’t paid any expenses for the home for as long as I can remember. I now live in the home, and while my dad was alive, I assisted him with paying his bills and mortgage. I moved away for a short period of time but moved back due to his declining health.

Since his passing I’ve been the one to pay the mortgage and all of the utilities because she said I could keep the home. I also have a voicemail from her when she called me about taking over the loan to keep the house.

She now says she’s going to sell the home because I won’t do what she wants me to do. She wants me to sell my dad’s belongings. What should I do?

A: First, our condolences on the loss of your father. He’s left you in a complicated situation. There’s a lot to unpack, and given the complexity we’re going to strongly suggest that you speak with a local attorney who has real estate and estate law experience.

Having said that, let’s start with how your dad and stepmom owned their home. When two or more people own a home as joint tenants with rights of survivorship and one of the owners dies, the remaining living owners become the sole owners of the home. In your case, when your dad died, your stepmom became the sole owner of the home.

However, when couples get divorced or there are intervening circumstances that might have a court declare that a home is no longer owned by one owner or the other, you’d expect to see a court order stating that one person or the other would be the sole owner of the home. We’ll take your question at face value and assume that your stepmom may have moved away, but since she and your dad never divorced, it’s likely she never ceased being a co-owner in the home.

Here’s where state law might weigh in. Your state may have a law that says if a person abandons a property for a certain period of time, they may relinquish their ownership. Typically, these types of laws are very specific in how they are applied. They usually pertain to abandoned homes that are then cared for and taken over by others to the exclusion of the rightful owner.

We suspect that these types of laws may not apply to your situation, but you should ask the local attorney you consult if your state has such a law and if it might apply to your stepmother.

That takes us to your next issue: caring for your father and the housing expenses you paid. If you had to move in to care for your dad, perhaps you should be reimbursed for the carrying costs of the home.

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